Re: [us-marketing] Fundraising Challenge Poster update

On Fri, Feb 25, 2011 at 8:23 PM, Marc Paré <marc@marcpare.com> wrote:
> I have updated the fundraising challenge poster with a new banner and
> text[1]. Could someone check the text and banner? The text was pulled from
> the challenge site and the banner text came from changes in text from the
> challenge site as well.
>
> The banner has been submitted for approval to the design team.
>
> I submit it to this list as this is where the original work for the EN
> version was developed.
>
> Many thanks for the help.
>
> Cheers
>
> Marc

What is this for? Where will it be displayed?

It seems quite dry. Raising 50K Euro in 8 days from 2000 people is a
notable accomplishment. Doesn't have to be marketing hype BS, but
something twitter-esque would be appropriate.

"to set-up" should not have a hyphen.

Awkward
"The decision not to set-up the foundation right at the launch of the
project was a deliberate choice to leave the doors open to potential
contributors, and to allow everyone to take part in shaping it."

The decision to wait on formalizing the Foundation was done
deliberately to leave the door open to potential contributors. At the
launch of the project, the emphasis was on delivering a viable product
and inviting participation.

The above paragraph is dupllcated in two areas.

The bottom right area is old news. "During the last few weeks..." and
"The 50,000 Euro Challenge!" are done. The new news is:
Prior to the fundraising announcement, the Steering Committee of The
Document Foundation evaluated various options for establishing a legal
entity. During a public Steering Committee phone conference, the
decision was taken to form the Foundation in Germany, in the legal
form of a "Stiftung". With the successful fundraising effort, the
process has begun to create a formal organization.

I suggest a bold appeal for people to contribute.
This is dry...
"The LibreOffice Fundraising Challenge!
Help fund the first initial budget of our new Foundation. All
donations will be directed into the future foundation's
budget to cover operating expenses."

What's the challenge? There is no challenge in that description.

Help LibreOffice thrive!
The fundraising effort is continuing to accommodate people who missed
out on the initial Challenge. Additional money will be used to build a
sustainable structure to support LibreOffice. Many aspects of the
volunteer Community are forming, but this will only take LibreOffice
so far. With additional financial resources, the Foundation will be
able to do more to promote, coordinate LibreOffice activities, and
expand product offerings. The success of the initial fundraising
effort demonstrates the possibility of LibreOffice becoming the global
leader in office suites. Please consider donating to help realize that
possibility.

"LibreOffice is a legal trademark of the Document Foundation." is only
needed once.

Carl

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