[libreoffice-marketing] Re: Additional Platforms - 3rd Party Support Pamphlet

Hi Drew

Le 2011-05-26 10:36, drew a écrit :

> Hi Marc, et al
>
> Pushed new copies to the wiki just now
>
> http://wiki.documentfoundation.org/File:LibO-Pamphlet-platforms-support.pdf
>
>   or for the ODF file...
>
> http://wiki.documentfoundation.org/File:LibO-Pamphlet-platforms-support.odt

Nice work!

Comments, quite a few:

p.2 panel 1
The free power-packed, Open Source personal oductivity suite for: --> 
missing "pr"oductivity

p.2 panel 1
Designed to address your ... page. --> a "run on sentence" that is too 
long. The word "whether" needs an "or" somewhere to complete it. This 
paragraph should be reworked.

p.2 panel 1
LibreOffice uses Open Document Format (ODF), recognized by many 
governments worldwide as the default format for office documents. --> we 
should promote the abbreviated form of ODF as much as possible to break 
the .doc view that this is a document abbreviated format. Also removed 
the "," in from of "as" and also removed the "S" at the end of "documents".

p.2 panel 1

Should we put the (NGO) next to "Non Governmental Organizations"? There 
seems to be space for this and it is quite the recognizable abbreviation 
in many countries.

p.2 panel 2

LibreOffice is easy to use thanks to its clearly structured intuitive 
menu. --> no need for a comma between structured and intuitive.

p.2 panel 2

This is different from most, closed source, commercial product 
development models where the development happens inside a closed group, 
and time based releases frequently slip. --> This doesn't actually show 
any difference with the opensource group. We should find a factually 
relevant reason of an advantage of a time based release schedule that is 
measurable. Why is it better? I don't think we need to bother comparing 
to closed group development.

p.2 panel 2
LibreOffice is free software, and is based on free tools. --> 
LibreOffice is free software that is based on free tools. or LibreOffice 
is free software that makes use of free tools. -- There are too many 
sentences with the same "and" ...

p.2 panel 2

Our aim, over time ... --> Over time, our aim is -- no need to split the 
subject with the verb here. I think it read better this way.

... is to make it easy to build releases of LibreOffice ... --> 
substitute "for LibreOffice" with "of".

p.2 panel 2-3

For the most conservative users, we recommend a commercially supported 
version, which enables you to indirectly support the project’s 
development. Such stable versions will typically be based on a point 
release, such as LibreOffice 3.3.2 today;

For those interested in the bleeding edge, who want to enjoy new 
features and fixes, we recommend LibreOffice 3.4.0, release candidates, 
betas or even nightly builds, which enable a participation in the 
development, evaluation and quality control process;
Of course, as the 3.4 series matures, we will reach a point where we 
will recommend a 3.4.x release as being suitable even for the most 
conservative users.

--> this is very informative. If there were a way to explain this 
without referring to a LibreOffice version (3.3.2 and 3.4), we would not 
have to update the pamphlet at the next version update. Maybe we should 
push to formalize the name of the point release and the bleeding edge 
releases. If not these two paragraphs are great. Maybe we could change 
it to:

For the most conservative users, we recommend a commercially supported 
version, which enables you to indirectly support the project’s 
development. Such stable versions will typically be based on a point 
release, such as LibreOffice found on our download page.;

For those interested in the bleeding edge, who want to enjoy new 
features and fixes, we recommend LibreOffice the release candidates, 
betas or even nightly builds, which enable a participation in the 
development, evaluation and quality control process;
Of course, as the development series matures, we will reach a point 
where we will recommend this release as being suitable even for the most 
conservative users.

p2 panel 3

The Document Founation --> missing the "d"

p.2 panel 3

Free from our large, dedicated community of developers, contributors and 
supporters the make up the Document Foundation --> Sound a little choppy 
and could be read as meaning something else, maybe use: Free to download 
from our large, dedicated community of developers, contributors and 
supporters the make up the Document Foundation. --> you will also need a 
period here.  We should also add: Visit our support pages at:  --> 
otherwise the previous sentence would seem to call for the download page.

You may support our work on LibreOffice and The Document Foundation with 
donations, details available --> maybe use: You may support our work on 
LibreOffice and The Document Foundation with your donations. Details 
available at:


It is just me, or should we start thinking of standardizing our sub-site 
nomenclature? For example we have:

http://www.libreoffice.org/support
http://donate.documentfoundation.org

Shouldn't we have?

http://support.libreoffice.org
http://donate.documentfoundation.org

Also, is the PayPal method really donations@documentfoundation.org? I 
don't know of anyone who pays this way. We normally do what I see on our 
site on http://www.libreoffice.org/get-involved/donate/ with an amount 
window and a PayPal button. Maybe we should use this on the pamphlet?

Cheers

Marc



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