Re: [libreoffice-marketing] Re: donation page draft

Hi :)
In general ... 
I think it's good as it was, as it is.  The suggestions are all good too, even the ones i disagree 
with.  

Could the donations button be moved to the top of the page to make it
easier for people that have already decided to donate before reaching
the page? 

+1 about contractions.  It's better to say "there is" to make it easier for people that may not 
have an advanced understanding of  English.  I think it's easier to translate too.  

-1 about links and pdfs.  I think it's good to have those links as it helps give confidence in the 
page.  With those links it is clearly and definitely embedded in the official TDF and LibreOffice 
websites rather than a hoax page.  

Also there is a lot of mention of volunteers but that is just scary to may people.  I think it's 
important to mention that there are large corporates donating employee time and helping to guide 
the project.  In my country "anarchy" is often used instead of "disorder" or "chaos" to show 
something that has already completely fallen apart and is unlikely to last.  In general people 
think anything produced by volunteers is likely to be crap and fall apart fast.  


Specifics ... 
I liked the 3rd paragraph.  It looked a little unusual but i thought that was in a good way.  ie 
not bland.  Perhaps change to
"Our values are openness, transparency and meritocracy.  We have made our budget as well as our 
accountings public from the beginning in accordance with those principles."
But that sort of thing makes it into a big yawn.  It make it the sort of thing corporates pay 'ad 
execs' or PR guys to write because they don't really believe or understand it but realise it's a 
good marketing ploy even though it's kinda the opposite of what the company wants to do.  So, i 
think keep the original as it has flair and looks more genuine because it really is from the heart. 
 

Errr, perhaps just cut the last few words from the paragraph
"You are more than welcome to directly contribute to LibreOffice, or to donate money."
Hmmm, perhaps a better word than money or cash but i can't think of one that is still clear.  All i 
could think of was "resources" but that would suggest things other than cash and that has mostly 
been covered already by the first sentence.  

Regards from
Tom :)  



--- On Tue, 28/8/12, Marc Paré <marc@marcpare.com> wrote:

From: Marc Paré <marc@marcpare.com>
Subject: [libreoffice-marketing] Re: donation page draft
To: marketing@global.libreoffice.org
Date: Tuesday, 28 August, 2012, 21:16

Hi Florian and Thorsten,

Great page! My comments below:

Le 2012-08-28 14:24, Florian Effenberger a écrit :
> Hello,
>
> I started to work on a new donation page, and Thorsten is currently
> reviewing and enhancing it. It's really just a quick shot, but any
> feedback is welcome:
>
> http://donate.libreoffice.org

The third paragraph, second sentence could be improved, it sounds a little strange.

"Our values are openness, transparency and meritocracy. Following these ideals, ever since the 
beginning, we have made our budget as well as our accountings public."

Perhaps:

"Our values are openness, transparency and meritocracy. By using these as our guiding principles, 
we have endeavoured in making our budgets as well as our financial reports public."

Note: I am also unsure as to why there are so many linked .pdf documents. Why are these not 
available on a web page instead of a file download? The text in these files should be posted 
somewhere on our website rather than asking visitors to make use of additional software to inform 
themselves of our mission statement, core values etc.

4th paragraph:

"... registered, plus there's an ongoing demand for travel funding of our members, and 
participation in events."

I would suggest avoiding contractions wherever possible; I would suggest changing "there's" to 
"there is".

5th paragraph

"You are more than welcome to directly contribute to LibreOffice, or to donate to the budget of our 
ongoing operations."

Suggest:

"You are more than welcome to contribute directly to LibreOffice, or to donate to our ongoing 
operations budget."

6th paragraph:

"LibreOffice is a large project, involving thousands of volunteers spread across the world, working 
round the clock with a huge code base. A project of this magnitude is always in need of money. Your 
donation, however small, would help our project."

Suggest:

"LibreOffice is a large project involving thousands of volunteers spread across the world who work 
round the clock with a huge code base. A project of this magnitude is always in need of money for 
infrastructure, brand protection and community support such as events and travel subsidies. Your 
donation, however small, would greatly help our project and help us deliver a better product as 
well as services."


> The plan is to have exact donation items here (we need € 123 for XYZ
> servers, € 456 for XYZ developer machines etc.), plus give detailed
> links to the budget, but that all is work in progress.
>
> Florian

That is great! Does this mean that some users could donate towards a specific budget item?

Cheers,

Marc


-- Marc Paré
Marc@MarcPare.com
http://www.parEntreprise.com
parEntreprise.com Supports OpenDocument Formats (ODF)
parEntreprise.com Supports http://www.LibreOffice.org


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