[libreoffice-marketing] Re: donation page draft

Hi Florian and Thorsten,

Great page! My comments below:

Le 2012-08-28 14:24, Florian Effenberger a écrit :
> Hello,
>
> I started to work on a new donation page, and Thorsten is currently
> reviewing and enhancing it. It's really just a quick shot, but any
> feedback is welcome:
>
> http://donate.libreoffice.org

The third paragraph, second sentence could be improved, it sounds a 
little strange.

"Our values are openness, transparency and meritocracy. Following these 
ideals, ever since the beginning, we have made our budget as well as our 
accountings public."

Perhaps:

"Our values are openness, transparency and meritocracy. By using these 
as our guiding principles, we have endeavoured in making our budgets as 
well as our financial reports public."

Note: I am also unsure as to why there are so many linked .pdf 
documents. Why are these not available on a web page instead of a file 
download? The text in these files should be posted somewhere on our 
website rather than asking visitors to make use of additional software 
to inform themselves of our mission statement, core values etc.

4th paragraph:

"... registered, plus there's an ongoing demand for travel funding of 
our members, and participation in events."

I would suggest avoiding contractions wherever possible; I would suggest 
changing "there's" to "there is".

5th paragraph

"You are more than welcome to directly contribute to LibreOffice, or to 
donate to the budget of our ongoing operations."

Suggest:

"You are more than welcome to contribute directly to LibreOffice, or to 
donate to our ongoing operations budget."

6th paragraph:

"LibreOffice is a large project, involving thousands of volunteers 
spread across the world, working round the clock with a huge code base. 
A project of this magnitude is always in need of money. Your donation, 
however small, would help our project."

Suggest:

"LibreOffice is a large project involving thousands of volunteers spread 
across the world who work round the clock with a huge code base. A 
project of this magnitude is always in need of money for infrastructure, 
brand protection and community support such as events and travel 
subsidies. Your donation, however small, would greatly help our project 
and help us deliver a better product as well as services."


> The plan is to have exact donation items here (we need € 123 for XYZ
> servers, € 456 for XYZ developer machines etc.), plus give detailed
> links to the budget, but that all is work in progress.
>
> Florian

That is great! Does this mean that some users could donate towards a 
specific budget item?

Cheers,

Marc


--
Marc Paré
Marc@MarcPare.com
http://www.parEntreprise.com
parEntreprise.com Supports OpenDocument Formats (ODF)
parEntreprise.com Supports http://www.LibreOffice.org


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