[libreoffice-website] Re: New Sponsors page

Le 2012-10-29 05:48, Marc Paré a écrit :
> Hi Charles, Erich et al,
>
> Le 2012-10-22 05:54, Charles-H. Schulz a écrit :
> > Hello,
> >
> > Thanks to Erich Christian, the Sponsors/Advisory Board page is online. I
> > initially wanted to have a gallery (not using the PhotoShuffler) but the
> > way he rearranged the page looks good now. I might add some more info on
> > the AB later on.
> > https://www.libreoffice.org/about-us/sponsors/
> >
> > Best,
> > Charles.
>
> Nice page, however, the text needs a little TLC.
>
> "The LibreOffice project and its entity, the Document Foundation count
> many supporters. Among them, a few have decided to sponsor us with
> important resources. Sponsorship is open to any entity that contributes
> funds and for special cases, specific resouces to the Document
> Foundation. Sponsorship runs on a yearly basis and gives access to the
> Advisory Board of the Document Foundation. If you are interested in
> becoming a sponsor please contact the Board of Directors ."
>
> Suggest:
>
> "The LibreOffice project and its entity, the Document Foundation, count
> many supporters. Among these, a few have decided to sponsor us with
> important resources. Sponsorship is open to any entity that contributes
> funds towards the general operations of the project, or, contributes
> funds for use destined to specific resources to the Document Foundation.
> Sponsorship runs on a yearly basis and gives access to the Advisory
> Board of the Document Foundation. If you are interested in becoming a
> sponsor please contact the Board of Directors."
>
> I am unclear as to the section: "The LibreOffice project and its entity,
> the Document Foundation ..." I am not sure as to the use of the word
> "entity", perhaps something more like "parent organization" would be
> better, or "parent project holder" or something to that effect. "Entity"
> makes the relationship between LibreOffice and the TDF very unclear.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Marc

Should the text on this page be updated? The present text does not read 
well in English.

Cheers,

Marc

--
Marc Paré
Marc@MarcPare.com
http://www.parEntreprise.com
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