Re: IT Geeks' Social Skills (was: Re: [libreoffice-users] Re: Installing windows explorer extension only)

Hello,

Speaking as an "Aspie" myself, who helps fellow Aspies better work and live
with others (and vice versa), thank you very much for your effort to
understand.

If I may:

(1) You're right about its being Asperger Syndrome, named as it is after
Dr. Hans Asperger who discovered it. It's also known as Asperger's Syndrome
or Aspergers Syndrome. However, it does *not* contain the letter b, nor
does it refer to any body part or popular fast food. =|8-}

(2) "Functional autism" might be a phrase used by some laypeople to
describe it. If you want to get more technical, it's an autism spectrum
condition, along with High Functioning Autism, Semantic Pragmatic Disorder,
Nonverbal Learning Disorder and Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not
Otherwise Specified (HFA, SPD, NLD/NVLD and PDD-NOS, respectively).

Now that we've gotten the terminology out of the way...

(3) You're right about Aspies not picking up on things that most others
(neurotypicals, or NTs for short) absorb instinctively. Just as you rightly
pointed out that social skills can be learned, so can the *need* to do so
-- and not just in terms of avoiding getting fired, losing relationships
and the like. Aspies have empathy just like any other
non-sociopath/psychopath, and we can learn, say, how telling someone you
don't like their food hurts their feelings even if we don't think it should.

(4) Finally, thank you for calling for understanding and accommodation.
Really, it goes both ways. We need to understand how NTs tick and how to
better get along with them, and then act appropriately (in both senses of
the term) as much as possible.

Cheers,

Jeff Deutsch
Speaker & Life Coach
A SPLINT - ASPies LInking with NTs
http://www.asplint.com

"Listen to the universe while it whispers before it has to shout."
Marion Grobb Finkelstein, Communication Catalyst --
http://www.MarionSpeaks.com


On Sun, May 11, 2014 at 11:57 AM, Jim Seymour <jseymour@linxnet.com> wrote:

> On Sun, 11 May 2014 11:52:18 +0100
> Tom Davies <tomcecf@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> [snip]
> > On a side-issue ...
> > The ones where Urmas does help are often highly technical.  That
> > raises the question of whether Urmas is a dev and just socially
> > clumsy as so many are. Apparently Microsoft have recognised that
> > many engineers and devs have "high functioning" aspergers syndrome
> > or, even further along the spectrum, autism ...
> [snip]
>
> Asperger Syndrome (it's properly capitalized) is often referred-to
> as "functional autism."  In any event: Yes, in the IT world it is
> quite common for technically talented people to exhibit impaired
> social skills.  It's usually not intentional.  Such people are simply
> wired in such a manner that social skills that are second nature to
> "normal" people are, quite simply, incomprehensible to them.  Good
> examples of these are the TV show characters Dr. Gregory House, Dr.
> Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Martin Ellingham ("Doc Martin").  These
> characters are all portrayed as being brilliant in their fields, but
> socially inept to the point of being widely regarded as rude and
> unfeeling.  (These characters portray behavioural extremes, but they
> are, after all, actors, and it is, after all, entertainment.)
>
> Such people can learn, to a degree, to work within commonly accepted
> social norms, but they will never, ever understand the *need* to do
> so, other than that failing to do so may have (potentially) adverse
> consequences.
>
> This is not to excuse behaviour clearly out-of-bounds, but more to
> explain the reality that, in a venue such as this, you're going to
> encounter such people.  The only way to stop it entirely is to
> encourage them to go away.  Then what are you left with?  Who will
> answer your questions and solve your problems?  The likes of
> telephone sanitizers, hairstylists, advertising executives and
> lawyers? ;)
>
> Regards,
> Jim
> --
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