Errr, there doesn't seem to be a question to answer in this thread. I
suppose "acceptable etiquette" just about covers it. the main points are
1. Try to keep questions on-list.
If you go off-list then people may well not respond and there are many
reasons why not which have nothing to do with rudeness. When you go
off-list people may feel obliged to answer but they may not be able to so
you increase their stress level.
It's a bit like going round to someone's house uninvited and just walking
in through their back-door after getting the key from under their door-mat.
It is spam and there are laws against it.
If the post is on-list then if one person is too busy or unable to help
then there are other people and hopefully one of them can answer.
2. If you had a chat over coffee with a close friend would you tape-record
it and then find a radio station to broadcast it? I think if you
tape-record a conversation then you are legally obliged to ask the person if
it's ok before you do so. Currently in England there is a big court-case
about "phone hacking". Similarly if you take private emails and then
publish them publicly then it's just plain rude. Of course any email you
write could easily end up going public so it's wise to take care to avoid
saying anything "naughty" that could get you in trouble.
Personally i think Anne didn't quite realise the implications of what she
was doing. The Users List is a pretty friendly place so it's easy to make
some wrong assumptions. Even people that seem to hate each other have
common interests and similar values.
However, i can totally understand why the other person was getting annoyed.
His private emails, written at a highly stressful time, will now be publicly
available for anyone in the world to read at any time. Luckily everything
that was in his publicly printed private emails just show him as a
reasonable and fair person doing his best to help. In trying to help he put
his own future career at risk by not focusing on revision for exams.
So, i don't think anyone behaved really badly deliberately but a bit more
consideration of others would be nice. Also ignore the lists and get on
with your own life when you need to! It's not really selfish to just ignore
your emails for a few weeks or to selectively answer just the ones you want.
If there is a cry for help and you don't answer they can copy&paste it to
someone else. If you cry for help, especially in a personal email, then you
have to accept that the other person may not be able to respond despite
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