I only just saw this thread, thanks to Anne's restarting it. I wish I
could follow this list more closely, but I just can't. This thread matters
to me, however, so I feel compelled to jump in.
Tom, and all - Your initial post is probably the most courageous, human,
and gripping thing I've ever read on this list. I've always had a strong
sense that you are much in touch with your valuing other people, and your
awareness of them, and of yourseflf. In these things, you are in my
estimation exceptional. Does this confer a kind of vulnerability? Surely.
But the show is worth the cost of the ticket. You lead by example, without
question, and I love that example!
It is an undeniable fact that we are social animals. Remove that from us
and we become mute, because we no longer have a common language. We also
likely become naked (ready for that?) and tool-less (ouch - no
computers!!!). Going the other direction, a society of robots sounds
unrewarding in the very areas that typically end up mattering most to most
of us, especially at critical times - like the death of a child, or when
confronting an apparently unsolvable problem, or when encountering our own
finiteness.
I don't want impersonal relations. I want people in my life. I can easily
predict that virtually everyone else does too. People are more than data
and intelligence and decisions. We have bodies and feelings, smiles and
laughter and tears. I want all of that. Don't you? I'll bet you do.
Being "different" is an interesting fate, and also as much illusion as
fact. Two issues arise rather quickly, and they aren't often enough
distinguished: self-acceptance and acceptance by others. I can (for those
who are interested) give some exceptionally persuasive references in
support of the proposition that these two issues are VERY intimately
related - most particularly in our early years.
When adult, it may be hoped (but hardly always achieved) that we are
self-supporting enough to be only modestly reliant on acceptance from
others. But must of us still need at least SOME of this, and fairly
routinely. I know I do. However, there is this qualification: my computer
accepts me all the time (well, most of the time). But I never get a hug. My
friends, acquaintances, and clients accept me most of the time, too, but
offer so much more, including hugs. I may spend more hours with my
computer, but I prefer my friends, acquaintances, and clients.
...and now to Virgil - I think there is some truth to what you say, and it
has to do with this: When dealing with problems, which is what we do most
of the time here, keeping the level of affect (feelings) produced in our
brain moderated allows our perceptions and cerebral cortex to function
unimpaired by the disruptions that are caused by affective excess. But who
wants primarily to dialog with a computer? Or a robot? And who wants to be
up in their cerebral cortex all the time? Is that what your wife wants from
you? Your kids? Your dog? You? You know the answer.
Well, I'm like your dog. I want more. I think that if the truth be known
we all do.
Yeah, I suspect that more than a few here are exceptionally developed
relative to problem solving skills, and possibly less developed in
supportive, rewarding social relations skills. So...with that awareness in
mind, let's just work a bit at keep all of ourselves involved here. Tom D.
did, when he told his story. Practice make better.
Anne - yeah, you're right. That's one reason why I have never ever used an
avatar on the Internet, unless I was doing an investigation of some
ill-behaved person and needed to move unseen. You can go to my professional
website and get my phone number (or nabble, and look at my signature
block). This is who I am, and it's never been a problem. I strongly dislike
avatars. If you cannot stand out where I can see you, you'd better have a
darned good reason.
If it were me, no one on this list would be here without an email address
to which a name and phone number was attached. Just grow up, people!
One off-topic final note: I'm not finished with the bullying issue. It
relates in several ways to much of what I've already said. I'm working on a
blog post that will make this clear. I'll bring the link to the list, when
it's ready. I've been slow getting to it, as there are many alligators in
my swamp just now.
t.
On 05/21/2014 01:41 PM, anne-ology wrote:
On the other hand, this anonymity is the reason these criminal
types
(hackers, spammers/scammers, ...)
are able to roam 'round - with no fears of being caught ;-(
For that reason, many of us are wary - maybe even overly cautious
;-)
From: Virgil Arrington <cuyfalls@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, May 20, 2014 at 6:25 AM
Subject: Re: [libreoffice-users] non-mainstream
To: users@global.libreoffice.org
On 05/19/2014 07:42 AM, Tom Davies wrote:
Hi :)
Last week we had an interesting thread, at least i thought so, about how
most of us are probably on the aspergers/autism spectrum. About how that
might actually be a benefit despite being possibly mislabelled as a
'dis'ability. Sure, for some people it is too extreme and may be
crippling
or maybe it's still a benefit for a lucky few who maybe worked hard to
"make the most of it". Many of us have tiny amounts of it and even that
is
sometimes just enough to set us outside of mainstream society.
At the end of the week i unwisely went to a pub with a friend who started
pointing out some of my "eccentricities" and physically held onto me to
prevent me from leaving. Errr she's quite a hot chick so it wasn't all
bad
and when we go out i try to realise that almost all the glances and
stares
we get are because of her. Just before disappearing inside myself i
looked
around to reassure myself that everyone around me was different in their
ways but found just a sea of white faces and all dressed in a very
similar
way to each other = nothing like me nor like almost any friend.
I'm guessing there are a lot of people here who feel 'outside' of
mainstream society for at least 1 reason or other. Here on the list i
feel
safe because no-one can judge any one else on such randomness as skin
colour.
Do other people here feel like they are outside of a mainstream society
in
a way that might show up in a photo or face-to-face? I think in a photo
i
might look too mainstream. A static 2 dimensional image often misses a
lot
of the character of a person. Would it be good to collect a bunch of
photos that show us using LibreOffice? Maybe focussing mostly on the
screen but enough of a hint of you or a friend that the photo gives an
impression of someone interesting. On the other hand maybe it is best
that
we stick with the images we have of each other in our minds-eye?
I like the idea of a montage of different users so that almost anyone
looking at the montage might recognise something of themselves in one or
more of the people in the montage. If you email photos to me privately i
might be able to get a local artist to put it together. I would avoid
naming names unless you specifically tell me to include it.
The term 'mainstream' is quite flexible and might be very different in
some
countries or amongst some cultures. If we look at the photos used in our
marketing then simply wearing a suit would make you stand out and it
might
be good to see that sort of thing mixed in too.
Regards from
Tom :)
Tom,
I think there is a faceless anonymity that makes e-communication work. One
reason we are free to share is the safety that comes from being able to
close the lid with nobody knowing who we really are.
Virgil
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