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Good morning William, *,
On Samstag, 13. September 2014 03:25 William Gathoye wrote:
I've just finished to write the fifth edition of LOWN. [1]

cool, thank you for your work :)

The latter is waiting for your reviews.

I corrected a view spelling errors (I hope, it is OK for you. If 
not, feel free to change it back ... ;) ), but stumbled upon some 
passages, which are not clear to me, or sounds a little bit strange 
(as I am not a native English speaker, I may be wrong ... ;) ), 
sorry ... :(

1. 
https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/LOWN/5#New_project_from_Document_Liberation:
<quote>
As a reminder, The Document Liberation Project aims to provide an 
ability to read back outdated or closed/proprietary file formats.
</quote>

Would it not be better to just use "open" instead of "read back" 
here? So the sentence above would be
<quote>
As a reminder, The Document Liberation Project aims to provide an 
ability to open outdated or closed/proprietary file formats.
</quote>
. Or was your intention to tell the reader, that the DLP is 
developing libraries for LO and other projects to create, open and 
edit outdated document formats?

The same applies to the "read back" in the next paragraph ... ;)

2. https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/LOWN/5#Android_version
<quote>
 Companies able to respect the requirements described in the call 
for offers are pleased to apply and provide a timing and cost 
estimation.
</quote>

Not sure, if "are pleased" is the right term here. From a gut 
feeling, I would use "are welcome". Then the above sentence would 
become
<quote>
 Companies able to respect the requirements described in the call 
for offers are welcome to apply and provide a timing and cost 
estimation.
</quote>
. But as I am not a native speaker ... ;)

3. 
https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/LOWN/5#Nearly_the_end_of_the_German_comments_translation
<quote>
This is actually difficult to predict if we are still far or not, 
since as far as we know, no one has computed how far we are with 
translating german comments.
</quote>

Sounds a little bit strange to me, sorry ... :( Maybe
<quote>
This is actually difficult to predict if we are still far away from 
the end of this work or not, since as far as we know, no one has 
computed how far we are with translating German comments.
</quote>
. Maybe we can improve it further with a little help of a native 
speaker ... ;)

4. Same place, next sentence:
<quote>
If you want help, a script bin/find-german-comments is still 
available to locate in the code these German comments.
</quote>

I would rearrange it a little bit:
<quote>
If you want help, a script bin/find-german-comments is still 
available to locate these German comments in the code.
</quote>
. Any objections ;?

5. 
https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/LOWN/5#Some_news_for_OS_X_builds
<quote>
Since retina displays are now the default on OS X (excepted on the 
MacBook Air) and the 64 bits are now default for LibreOffice, the 
flags --enable-retina and --enable-64bits will be dropped and me mde 
the default
</quote>

Here I am completely at a loss ... :( What should "me mde the 
default" mean? I read your linked 
http://lists.freedesktop.org/archives/libreoffice/2014-September/063265.html, but I am still not 
sure, what you wanted to 
tell your readers there ... :( And I would put these "--
enable-$something" flags in "<code>" tags, as you did on some other 
passages ... ;)

Maybe I will proofread it further later this weekend, if I find any 
other unclear description, spelling errors and the like, if you like 
... ;)

Sorry for the inconvenience and have a nice day
Thomas.

-- 
The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is 
modest about it.
                -- James Agate, British film and drama critic


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